MR Garrison: Thats right Mr. Hat. All of us need to take good care of our bodies. And that means-"
[Cartman raises hand]
Mr. Garrison: Yes, Eric?
Cartman: Mr. Garrison, it's snack time.
Mr. Garrison: In a minute, Eric. As I was saying. It is
important to take care of-"
[Cartman raises his hand again]
Cartman: I just want to say that it's snack time
again
Wendy: Can you ever stop thinking about your
stomach?
Cartman: Shut up bitch. I'm not fat you you big-"
Stan: Damn, Cartman she didn't call you fat,
Butt-pipe
Cartman: Hey, shut the hell up you bitch loven
basterd.
Mr. Garrison: Well, for pete sack.Quiet!!!!!.
Kenny: muff mmmmmm mmmuuhhhh mmmmmmm
Mr. Garrison: Before Eric, interrupted.I was going to
say that all of you will be partisapating in Health
camp for a week.
Mr.Hat: That right Mr. Garrison, And one of our
favorite people will be teaching us about health an
excersize.Richard Simons
[ class gasps ]
Mr. Garrison: All of you will be attending and be graded at the end of the week on how well you did. Especially, you, Eric!
[ waiting in line at the cafateria ]Kyle: Eric, doesn't your mom watch that Richard Simon's dude?Cartman: awwwww, no.
Stan: Yes, she does you fat ass! Me and Kenny saw her.
Kenny: mmmm mmuhhh mmmmmmmmmmhhhhuhhhh mmmmmmmpphh
Cartman: Hey, I'm not fat, I'm big boned ass-hole.And my mom doesn't watch that dick head who killed his bitch wife.
kyle: Thats OJ Simpson you ding-dong!
Stan: Richard Simon's that gay dude that excersizes all the time with those fat women.
Cartman: Oh, yea, now I know what your talking about. My mom watches him before she goes to sleep. She must really work out because I can hear thumping and squeeking in my Dad's bedroom.
[ silence ]
Chef: Hello Children, have you heard the exciting news?
Kids: Yes chef
Chef: You don't seem excited?
Cartman: Who wants to see some gay guy dance to 50's music and cry at everyone that has an ass bigger than a satilite dish?
Chef: See children, I need to lose some weight for the girls.Make sex exciting again.
Cartman: I don't know about you guys, but Im no going to go to that damn healh camp and have Richard hitten on me. No thank you.
Stan: Mr. Garrison said that everyone has to partisipate. Besides you could lose acouple pounds.
Cartman: Hey. ew eeh shut up ass-hole or I'll kick you in the nnuts!
Chef: Maybe you'd like it cartman. Just give it a chance. Got to go children
[ looks at blonde bimbo turn the corner ] [ bus stop ]
Kyle: See you tomorrow cartman
Cartman: And what makes you think I'll be here.
kyle: I don't know dude you just will.
Stan: Well,bye cartman!
cartman: Anyone want to come over and have some cheezy
poofs?
Kyle: Wendy's right, you do only think about your
stomach.
Cartman: You bitch loven basterd. I don't want you to
come over anyway!!!!!!!! *beep* you!!!!!
Kyle: You're so fat Cartman, that when you go down the
street the police man yells, break it up.
Cartman: I don't have to take this shit!!!!! I am not
Fat!!! Damnnit!!!
Cartman: Mom, I'm home!
Cartman's mom: Hey, hunny! Can I get you some cheezy
poofs?
Cartman: Oh yeeeee- no mom I'm not feeling so
good.
[ cartman fakes being sick ]
Cartman: I am so so sick I don't think I can go to
school tomorrow.
Cartman's mom: My little Eric not feeling well?
Cartman: uh-uh
Cartman: Mom what the hell are you doing?
Cartman's mom: "Open uppy Eric. This will make you all
better.
Cartman: The hell I won't take that shit.
Cartman's mom: But mommy wants you to feel all
better
Cartman: Ehhh ewwww I'm not taking that SHIT!!!!!!! You
know what mom, I'm kinda feeling better.
Cartman's mom: Awww, thats good Eric.
[ takes medicine back into the kitchen
]
Cartman: By the way I want some cheezy poofs, like this
damn minute.
Cartman's mom: Right away Eric
[ next morning at bus stop ]
Stan: Anyone see Cartman?
Kenny: mmmm muuff mmmfff
[ kyle and stan look at kenny and
laugh ]
Kyle: He'll be here.
Stan: Hey, look what I'm bring to school today.
Kyle: Whoa, dude a mega bar!
Stan: Yea, ain't it sweet.
Kyle: Hey, guys look who's here
Stan: Hey, Cartman you're here.
Cartman: What the hell are you all looking at?
Kyle: Cartman-
Cartman: Kyle I don't want to hear it, ok.
Stan: Your mom made you come didn't she?
Cartman: No my mom didn't make me come asshole. So
happens I desided to come.
Kyle: No Cartman, your mom made you come.
Cartman: Crap, my mom didn't make me come.
Stan: Your mom probably made you come because your a
fatass
Cartman: I am not fat Damnit!!! ehhhhhhhhhhhhh shut the
hell up!!!!!!!
[ the bus pulls up ]
Bus drive: Come on we're running late!!!!!
Stan: Fat bitch!!
Bus driver: What did you say?!
Stan: I said I can't wait to be rich.
Bus Driver: oh, well neither can I.
[ at school ]
Mr. Garrison: Good morning class. I am so excited to present, Richard Simons!
Richard Simons: Good morning Children, get up off those seats and lets touch those toes!!!!
Mr Garrison: Isn't he beautiful Mr. Hat?
Mr. Hat: Yes Mr. Garrison.
Cartman: Ehhh, damnit!!
Stan: Cartman he said touch your toes not your knees.
Cartman: I'm trying to Stan!!!
Richard Simon: Can you feel it. Keep stretching!!!
Kenny: mmmm mmuuuff mmmm.
Richard Simon: Ok, kids you all can relax. What is your name?
Cartman: Ehhhh, me?
Mr. Garrison: Thats Eric the fat boy.
Cartman: I'm not fat damnit!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm big boned. Get it in all of your sick twisted head!!!!
Richard: Eric, do you feel upset about your weight problem?
Cartman: I don't have a weight problem, you ho ho!! Mr Garrison: Eric, that is no way to talk to our guest. you little shit
Richard: I want everyone to gather around Eric. comeon!!! Now everyone repeat. Yes I can. Eric you can do something about that weight problem. just repeat the words
Cartman: Ehhhhhhh Get the hell away from me.!